This is a story about a pre-term emergency cesarean.
Please read this with caution if you believe this may cause you any heartache. 

My pregnancy with Kai was so unpredictable that it earned him the nickname "Hurricane Kai". After 2 other bleeds we thought nothing at 30 weeks 5 days on October 14th at 6:35 am when I began to bleed. This was so much worse though, I filled a toilet bowl with blood. As calm as I could we headed to our hospital. My doctor called me and told us to head to the big hospital, University of Cincinnati, because they had a good NICU. I was honestly numb and just said ok and headed there.

As soon as we got to Labor and Delivery they instantly knew something was very wrong. The room was buzzing with doctors and nurses and machines. Upon further investigation the doctor said "He has no fluid and appears to have stopped growing at 26 weeks, we have to deliver today or he will die". I stayed calm... I tried so hard to keep myself positive. They moved me to a room, got me admitted, and began to monitor Kai. I had a steroid shot, and we hoped he would be able to atay in long enough for the steroids to work on his tiny lungs.

At some point, I lost my sense of time this day, the NICUs head doctor came to basically welcome us to the NICU... to a club we never wanted membership to. I had held it together thus far and stayed calm for Kai's sake. They warned that he may be stillborn and was only measuring 960 grams. They said if he lived he would essentially be on life support until his lungs could start to support himself. For the first time all morning I grabbed my amazing nurses arm and wept into her sleeve. At 3pm they came in and said it was time. He had to be delivered now or he would die.
On the cold operaring table, with my nurse by my side long after her shift was over, the anesthesiologist searching for the right spot to place the needle. Finally they get me numb and begin operating. I just lay and cry "Please don't die, I love you. I'm sorry my body failed you" over and over again. My husband was stroking my hair and holding me, I remember my body shaking uncontrollably. Finally they pulled Kai earthside, a sweet nurse took photos for us. There was no cry. I cried and cried and began to vomit, my husband left the room to accompany Kai. At this point I had no idea if he lived.

In recovery, I stopped breathing a few times, c-sections are no joke. My body was reeling and in shock.

Finally my sweet nurse came to my side, with a smile and tears in her eyes she showed me a picture of my husband and new baby. She said "He's ALIVE! And he's beautiful"

Kai is now a healthy and very happy lottle boy who is 15 days from being 1 year old.

- Brooke